It Shouldn't Be Easy
by Crazy Chick 74
Summary: Kara and Lee meet at the Academy. Non-canon. Please read to see what happens.
1. Chapter 1

**So this only half finished yesterday - and then... inspiration struck and I rolled the rest of it off really quickly. One quick proof read this morning and here we are. Much earlier than anticipated, my next story... It's completely non-canon and really has only three characters in it. Can you guess who two of them are...? :-) Anyway I hope you like it.  
**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 1.**

Kara Thrace was aware of Lee Adama from the first day at the Academy. Several female cadets were already talking about the best looking guy in the class within the first few hours. Talk about him was rife within the small network of girls who lived in the same dorm as her. Gossiping about him in a way Kara didn't particularly like. People were talking about who his father was; quite a few people were speculating he was here because of who his father was and not for his own merit. Kara didn't believe them. She knew better than to judge people by first impressions; having been the focus of the same level of attention on previous occasions.

She soon found out Lee Adama wasn't in her class so their paths didn't cross especially in those first few days but there was one subject where she was in the same room as him. Although she was fairly sure he would've been unaware of the circumstance. Their flight class was made up of three groups combined together and Lee's class was one of the other one's sharing her lesson. Flying was the reason Kara was at the Academy so she concentrated really hard in these classes. She wanted to be the best and she was determined that no one; not even the god-like Lee Adama; would tear her away from her dream.

The first couple of months at the Academy were a heady experience of getting used to being away from home for the first time; getting to know a whole new bunch of people and classes. For the first time Kara felt uneasy about her decision to be there. She was glad to be away from her home; that was something she wasn't struggling with; in fact she would probably be one of the few students who'd be staying at the school during the vacations such was her reluctance to go back to her home.

Kara wasn't a people person though and while she made friends there were very few she was really close to. She had a temper and was quick to rise to the bait when it was offered to her and a lot of people found that difficult to get past; especially girls. During her whole life Kara had been a tomboy; never one for wearing skirts or bothering with make-up and doing her hair. That's not to say she didn't make an effort when it was necessary but to her there were many more important things than things like that. As a result of this most of her friends at school had been boys. She'd played Pyramid for her school in a team where she was the only girl and it was only her that got spotted by a scout with a view for signing her to a professional team when she finished school. That had been the first choice for her career but it was cut short by a bad tackle from a player in another team during a championship final at the end of her penultimate year at school. That one short minute had been enough to completely change the path of her future. Gone was the interest from the scout once they'd discovered the damage to her knee and not for the first time in her life, Kara was unsure what her life held for her.

She's initially been devastated by the injury and had really struggled to get back to being fully fit after it. It had taken a lot of effort on her part to get through the physiotherapy and she'd missed quite a bit of school because of it. When she did finally get back to full-time schooling she had no idea what she was going to do with her future and she was behind with her classes as well which didn't help matters. It was one of her teachers that suggested she think about trying to get into the Colonial Fleet. At first Kara was opposed to the idea as turning out similar to her mother was not high on the list of things she wanted to achieve. She gave it a chance though and had been given the opportunity to spend a day at the Academy with some other members of her year. From the moment she'd stepped into the room where the simulators were located and watched as some of the first year cadets flew against each other, Kara was hooked. By the end of the day she was buzzing and she knew what she wanted to do. She was going to be a pilot and she wasn't going to be like her mother at all.

After that day Kara dedicated herself to ensuring she made up for the weeks she'd missed at school. She spent hours after school at the library going through the subjects she needed in order to be able to sit the entrance exams. A couple of her teachers were even nice enough to spend some time with her and help her as well so she went back to the Academy six months later to sit the entrance exams over a two day session. She'd sat all the exams and thought she'd done okay; she wasn't certain but she was hopeful that everything would be okay; that she'd get into the Academy and fulfill her destiny; her destiny to be the best pilot in the Colonial Fleet. Once the exams were over the waiting began until nearly two months later she received the envelope holding the rest of her life within its contents. She carried the envelope around with her for a whole day; unable to pluck up the courage to open it and find out what it said. She'd sat at her desk with it in front of her; examining it as it lay there so innocently; trying to determine whether it was too thin to be an acceptance letter or too thick to be the rejection she was so used to and expected.

The last time she'd received a letter like this had been when she'd got the letter from the scout which told her they wouldn't be pursuing their interest in her. That had been a very thin letter and she'd been so disappointed when she read it; it hadn't been wholly unexpected but she was still upset by the way they'd not given her the opportunity to prove herself. This letter was even more important to her and she wasn't sure she could handle the rejection if that was what it contained. By the second day she was so on edge with the anticipation, she gave in and went to see her teacher; the one who'd recommended she gave joining the Fleet some thought in the first place. She handed him the letter and asked him to open it for her. She remembered the conversation they'd had even now as she sat waiting for her class to start.

****

"_Don't you want to be at home with your parents when you open this?" he asked her; studying her as she stood in front of him._

_Kara shook her head, "My dad's not there anymore and my mother doesn't care."_

"_You must've had this at least a couple of days now, Kara. Why haven't you opened it already?" She shrugged and he adopted a serious expression on his face; marred slightly by the small smirk at his mouth. "Talk to me, Miss Thrace."_

"_I don't... I can't..." She stopped talking and looked down at the floor. "Frak." She muttered then looked up quickly; a blush creeping onto her face. "Sorry."_

"_It's okay. Now, tell me why you haven't opened this?"_

"_I don't want to see the no in writing." She said quietly._

"_What about if it isn't a no?"_

"_It will be. They always are."_

"_Then why are you so reluctant to open this? You know what it's going to say, right?"_

"_Because I don't want it to say no. I want it to say yes – more than anything I've ever wanted."_

_He held the envelope out towards her. "Then you should be opening this, not me."_

"_What about if they don't want me?" Her words were hardly a whisper in the silent classroom._

"_Then they'd be really stupid. I know you can do this, Kara. You can, as long as you believe you can." She stared at him as he spoke; tears flooding her eyes. "It won't be easy but then nothing that's truly worth it should be, should it?" The envelope was held out towards her again and she took it in her hands; trying hard to ignore the shake of her fingers as it gripped the brown paper._

_Her fingers sliced through the top of the envelope and she pulled its contents out; slowly unfolding them and then turning them the right way up. Her eyes scanned the letter and she held her breath as she saw the words she'd wanted to read so much. She'd been accepted. She was going to be a pilot. "I'm in." She said it again, louder. Several times._

****

Kara smiled as she remembered how she'd felt when she'd finally opened the letter. Of course, the high soon faded after she'd told her mother the good news. Her mother who'd been quick to remind her just how little she was worth and that she'd be a useless addition to the fleet; if she got that far. She shook her head slightly; not wanting to go down that route now. Today was going to be a good day. Today she was going to fly; for the first time. Well, almost anyway. It would at least be her first time in the simulator. She'd finally find out if she was going to be any good at this.

The first few weeks in the class had been good but she'd found it frustrating not being able to fly and just being taught theory; she wanted to know once and for all if flying was her future. Now she was about to find out and it was as if she was back in that classroom; the letter still in her hand unopened. She knew; they'd been told many times since the beginning of the year; if she wasn't any good it would be over; she'd never be a Viper pilot. Sure, she could possibly still fly a Raptor but that wasn't what she really wanted to do. If she was really bad, she could even be thrown out of the Academy. And that would just prove her mother right which made Kara feel sick just thinking about it.

So now she was sitting on a bench at the side of the room waiting for the instructor to arrive. She heard someone sit next to her but was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't look at who it was. Someone sat the other side of her as well and it was then she looked to see who it was. She looked to her right and saw the god-like being himself; sitting next to her. To cover her rising embarrassment she looked to her left and found another guy who she'd never met before.

"So, are you ready for this test today?" It was Lee Adama who spoke. Kara turned to face him again, nodding at him as she was unable to speak; taken aback by the fact he'd spoken to her. HER!!!

"What's the worst that can happen?" The other guy said; Kara could hear the laughter in his voice and instinct told her he would be someone she'd like.

Lee spoke again. "You could end up flying Raptors."

Kara piped up, "You could be thrown out of the Academy."

"Who says there's anything wrong with flying Raptors?" this new boy quipped back to them both.

"Karl, there's a hell of a lot wrong with flying Raptors." Lee said; a huge smile on his face which held Kara's attention more than his words did. "And the possibility of being thrown out of the Academy is not something to be joked about either."

"Like that would ever happen to you, Lee," Karl stated.

Kara was still looking at Lee and she saw a shadow pass over his face at the joke from 'Karl'. She knew in an instant there was more to Lee Adama than most people realized and she thought she wanted to find out more about him. "I have just as much chance of being thrown out of the Academy as anyone else, Karl." He said quietly.

"Yeah, right. So your dad wouldn't step in and fix everything for you?"

"I'm sure that won't be a problem. I think Lee will do just fine." Kara finally spoke up; trying to step in and break up a possible fight before it began. "Won't you?"

Lee looked at her again; staring into her eyes. Kara stared right back at him; hypnotized by the blueness of them and once more unable to speak. "We'll see." Lee said quietly. Karl rose to his feet and moved to sit next to a girl a few rows away after she waved at him.

"Who's your friend?" Kara asked Lee.

"Karl Agathon. He wants to be a Raptor pilot. Apparently there are some people here who want to be one."

"Really? Surely there's something wrong with them? No sane person wants to be a Raptor pilot when you could be a Viper pilot?" She was smiling at him now.

Lee looked at her face and saw the smirk on it; a matching one appeared on his face and he turned back to the front of the room. "So are you going to tell me your name, mystery girl?"

"Gods, how rude of me." She turned to face him and thrust her hand out in front of her. "I'm Kara Thrace."

He smiled; he'd already known that before he'd asked her. He took her hand in his; shaking it firmly. "Lee Adama."

"I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are." She smiled slightly as he blushed before her all the time trying not to notice he hadn't yet released her hand.

"Karl's right, you know." He said softly.

"About what?"

"My dad. He probably would pull every string he could if I failed." When he next spoke he was talking in a deeper voice. "You're not a man unless you're a Viper pilot, Lee." He swallowed; Kara squeezed one of his hands gently as they both gripped hers. "I grew up hearing that the whole of my life. I've wanted to be a pilot for years but now I don't know if it's because I want it or because of what my dad's said for so long."

"Maybe this afternoon will answer that question for you."

"Maybe." He paused; looking at her sideways as they both faced the front of the room. "Thanks for believing in me though."

"It's okay. Something tells me you're going to be the second best pilot in our year."

"Second best?"

"Yeah." She turned to look at him; a wide grin on her face. "I'm going to be the best, stupid."

"I see. Well I look forward to doing battle with you then, Kara Thrace."

TBC

**A/N: So there you, the story starts. Please let me know what you think...**


	2. Chapter 2

**So... here is chapter 2 of my story. As a Christmas present to you all, I intend to update this story every day as I probably won't be able to post anything over the festive period. How good am I? :-) Anyway, this chapter builds on their friendship and sets in place a few key elements for the story.**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 2.**

Lee released Kara's hand as soon as the flight instructor walked into the room. Their instructor walked to the front of the room and turned to face them; he explained they would be split back into their original three classes and they'd be tested within that group for the remainder of the semester. Then after the break they'd be trying out against the other groups; both from this set of three groups and the other three groups in their year until towards the end of the next semester one of them would be named Top Gun.

Lee and Kara glanced at each other; both knowing what the other was thinking. They would both be striving to be Top Gun. Two more instructors walked towards the front of the class and the cadets began to filter towards their relevant instructor.

"Will you meet me later, Kara?" Lee said quickly before she could move.

"Sure." She smiled at him as she picked her bag up from the floor. She stopped and then smirked at him. "Are you asking me out on a date, Lee Adama?"

"No. I mean. Gods, I just thought we could get together and compare how our flights went." He was blushing again and her smile grew.

"I know. I'm just frakking with you." She looked over her shoulder and saw some of her classmates beckoning her over to them. "I'd better be going. Meet you after class, outside the building?" He nodded and she ran down to meet her class.

****

Kara was buzzing again when she walked out of the building. She'd been right; she was going to be a pilot. A good one too. She saw Lee waiting for her; his back to her and she wondered if he was really waiting for her; or had he forgotten. It was hard to say when he had his back to her. She walked over towards him; her steps faltering the closer she got. Quite a few of the other pilots in her class had seen her with him earlier and had asked her what was going on between the two of them. She'd just become flustered when they asked her and therefore they all now thought there was something between them. Kara knew the reality though; their suspicions couldn't be further from the truth. Kara knew there was nothing going on between her and Lee. How could he like her? She was Kara Thrace; she was a tomboy and there was no way he'd be interested in someone like her. That thought made her stop. Was she interested in him? Was she as shallow as the other girls in her class? Did she just like him because of how he looked? She shook her head; she was being stupid now. Even though as she walked over to him she was very aware of the people standing around and knowing they would be watching her.

"Hi Lee." She said; before she changed her mind and walk away again.

She seemed to startle him and he spun round to face her; a huge smile on his face. "Kara!" The next thing she was aware of was being wrapped in his arms as he squeezed her tightly in a hug.

"Lee?" She squeaked; a blush rushing to her cheeks.

He released her from his hold and pulled away from her slightly. She stared at his face and she didn't think she'd seen anything quite so beautiful in her life; she wished she could see this smile on his face all the time. "You were so right. I now know I want to be a pilot; more than anything I've ever wanted."

She smiled at him widely, "I know what you mean, Lee. It was amazing."

He took her hand and pulled her across the lawn away from the buildings. Kara became very conscious of people from her class watching them; her cheeks were flaming again as she saw the odd person smirk at her. How was she going to talk her way out of this? As they got further away from all the other students Lee finally spoke again. "So how did you do?"

Embarrassment had made her forget what they'd been talking about. "Huh?"

"In the simulator." He looked at her a little strangely and then smiled as she smirked at him.

"Not too bad. Pretty good, I think." Actually she'd done more than just good but it didn't seem right to boast.

"How did you score?"

He seemed really interested in how she'd done but she was reluctant to tell him; she wasn't sure she could handle him telling her he'd done better. "I'm not going to tell you, Lee."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to embarrass you..." she said, smiling at him. She knew the best way to get him to change the subject was to tease him.

"I don't think you could ever embarrass me, Kara."

There was no way she could back down from a challenge like that. "You don't know me well enough to be able to say that." Her shoulder nudged his as they sat beside each other. "Wait until you've known me a little while and you'll see just how easily I can make you squirm in embarrassment."

"Is that an invitation to get to know you better?"

"You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Lee looked at her; trying to decide if she was being serious or not. "Relax, Lee. I'm kidding." She couldn't resist teasing him; almost flirting with him. Was that wrong?

"So you want to be my friend... or is it my enemy?" He almost seemed to shudder as he added the latter option.

"Friends. Gods, Lee, stop taking things so seriously." She rolled her eyes at him. Did this guy know how to have fun?

"It's what I do." He said, smiling at her softly. "Wait until you've known me a little while and you'll see that I can be very serious about most things."

"I think I'm going to have to help you have a bit more fun, Lee Adama." Her heart was pounding again and suddenly she was glad she was sitting down.

****

After that Lee and Kara spent much more time together; instantly liking each other and finding a respect for each other's intelligence and skills. They often spent time with Karl Agathon as well and the three soon became close friends. Although both Lee and Kara seemed to prefer it when it was just the two of them; not that either of them would ever admit it to the other. Kara had come to realize over the weeks remaining in the first semester that Lee was just a friend to her; a best friend she hadn't realized she even needed. He didn't seem interested in her romantically either so there wasn't any tension between them; which Kara found to be a relief. Of course there was a lot of jealousy from the other girls in her class; making her even less popular than she'd been before as they all speculated about her relationship with Lee Adama. Despite everything she said to them; they just wouldn't believe they weren't dating. At moments of weakness Kara even began to believe them herself.

It was now the last day of the semester and everyone was packing up their things to go home for the break. Everyone that was, apart from Kara, who couldn't bring herself to go home. She'd rather stay here; even if it meant being on her own. She was sitting in her room watching as her roommate shoved some clothes and books into a backpack. Her roommate was the only girl she knew who would still talk to her and treated her as friend; something Kara was so grateful for. There was a knock at the door and Kara called for whoever it was to come in.

The door opened and one of the wardens from the dorm poked her head around the door. "There's a visitor in the foyer for Cadet Thrace."

"Me?" Kara was surprised; she didn't get visitors often and she wasn't expecting anyone. "I don't know who it could be."

"Then you'd better go and see who it is then," said her roommate.

Kara nodded and picked up the hooded top lying on her bed; quickly putting it on as she walked out of the room. She made her way down the hallway, wondering who it was who'd come to see her. She jogged down the flight of stairs and made her way the short distance to the foyer. Kara stopped short as she saw who it was waiting for her. It was Lee.

He'd seen her walking towards him and then stop. He walked over to her; a nervous look on his face. "Hi. Is it okay that I came over?"

"Of course it is, Lee." 'It means nothing' she tried to convince herself; but if that was the case, why was her heart pounding? She suddenly felt as nervous as he appeared to be. This was different to how they usually were with each other. What had caused this change? They stood in silence for a couple of minutes; both waiting for the other to start the conversation. "Was there a reason for you coming here?" she said quietly.

He looked relieved that she'd asked him. "I mentioned to my mum that you were staying here rather than going home and she insisted you came to stay at our house during the break."

Her mouth ran dry and she blinked a couple of times. This wasn't what she'd been expecting; not that she knew what she thought he was going to say. "I couldn't impose like that."

"My mum wouldn't have invited you if it was an imposition, Kara." His eyes met hers and she couldn't say anything as she was captivated by his eyes again; something that had been a pretty regular occurrence during their friendship and it still puzzled Kara why she had that reaction. "Please come." He said softly.

It sounded like he really wanted her there but she couldn't get past her own self doubt. "I was going to catch up on some studying over the break." Did she sound as if she was making excuses; it felt like she was but she really wasn't. She just knew she would feel a little uncomfortable being at Lee's house; much as she wanted to accept the generous offer.

"Kara, you've been studying harder in the last couple of weeks than I have. You deserve a break as much as we all do. " He paused for a second and couldn't meet her eyes. He took a deep breath and seemed to make a decision as he spoke again, "I don't want to think of you sitting here on your own."

She wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to say yes; she couldn't think of anything she wanted more than to spend time with Lee and his family but at the same time, she wasn't sure she had the nerve to go with him either. She looked down at her feet; suddenly feeling a little self conscious, "I think I'll stay here." She looked at his face; seeing him staring at her intently. "Are you frakked off with me because I said no?"

"Of course I'm not." He stepped forward and she was pulled into his arms for an unexpected hug. "Have a good break, Kara." He whispered.

"I will." She whispered back. "Have a good time with your family."

"I'll call you."

"You don't have to do that, Lee. I'll be fine."

"I'll call you." He said softly, leaning forward and kissing her softly on the cheek.

The feel of his lips on her cheek made her blush and she pulled away from him as quick as she could without making him feel bad. "I'll see you when you get back, okay?" She tried to smile at him but couldn't quite pull it off.

"If you change your mind, you can always come over to my house during the break."

"Thanks, Lee."

He turned and walked away from her, out of the building; looking back over his shoulder and smiling at her. Kara returned his smile and watched him walking away from her. Had she just made a mistake? Her heart was telling her she had but her brain knew it would be more of a mistake for her to go there; she knew if she did she'd start to imagine he felt something for her that he couldn't possibly feel. She shrugged her shoulders slightly and then walked back to her room; knowing that soon her roommate would leave and she'd be on her own.

TBC

**A/N: So what do you think? Like it... don't like it? Let me know. What do you want to happen in the next chapter - it probably won't affect the story - but I'd be interested to see if any of you are close. See you tomorrow.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Almost not making my promise of posting a chapter a day already - but I'm having a hell of a week - and not in a good way. Anyway here is chapter 3... so enjoy.**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 3.**

It was the second week of the break and Kara was officially bored. She'd studied so much her head hurt and she couldn't face doing anymore. She was now wondering if she should've gone to stay with Lee. She regretted the way things had gone since the break began but she was too embarrassed to face up to it. She just wished she wasn't the only person here. She was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling and wondering what she was going to do for the next fortnight or so. She was just starting to doze off when there was a knock on her door. She turned her head to look at it and stared as if trying to see through it; she had no idea who it could be; everyone else had gone home. She slowly pushed herself to her feet; knowing she was going to probably be disappointed when she opened the door. As she began to walk towards it there was another timid tap on the door. She opened the door and was surprised to see Lee standing on the other side. "Lee?"

"Hi." He said softly.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at your parents."

"I came back early."

She stared at him and could tell he seemed upset about something. He seemed to be avoiding looking at her; almost as if he thought she'd be able to see exactly what was wrong. She knew there was more to it than just deciding to come back early; part of her wanted to know what was going on; part of her was suddenly scared to ask. "Do you want to come in?" she said as she stepped back and opened the door further. He walked past her and stood in the center of the room. "Are you okay?" she finally asked him after staring at his back for some time. He looked at her over his shoulder and shook his head. She didn't need to see his eyes again to know there was something bothering him; and whatever it was it was serious. Maybe she could help him; if he'd let her anyway. Things still seemed different between the two of them; strained somehow and Kara had no idea why. "Do you want to talk about it?" He was silent for a couple of minutes and she knew he wasn't going to let her be there for him. And it hurt a lot that he wouldn't. "You don't have to if you don't want to." She added; backtracking and wishing she hadn't asked in the first place. It was none of her business.

"Can we not at the moment? I just want to think about nothing for a while." He still stood with his back to her and she saw the tension in his shoulders; tension that was increasing as time passed.

Kara instantly knew she was the cause of the extra tension and felt bad for doing that to him. That was the last thing she wanted. "Of course. If you want to talk though, I'm here for you."

He seemed to be comforted by what she'd said. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

As he spoke she heard the smile in his voice and it brought a small smile to her face too. The room fell quiet again. "I've missed you." She admitted to him quietly; needing to fill the silence in the room and speaking before she thought about what she was saying.

He turned and looked at her after she'd spoke; staring into her eyes deeply. Another smile appeared on his face; one she could see now and it reassured Kara more than she thought it would. "I missed you too." He looked around her room as he stood in front of her; Kara's eyes following his movements intently. "Can I sit down?" She nodded at him. He sat on the edge of her bed and held out his hand towards her. She took his hand and he tugged her over to sit next to him; not letting go of her hand as she took her seat. Kara found she wasn't that reluctant to do as he silently asked. "So have you been the only one here?" He seemed concerned about her and her heart fluttered in her chest.

"Yeah. It was okay at first, I've got a lot of work done but the last couple of days have been a little lonely." She stopped; realizing she was beginning to babble slightly. Why did he always have this affect on her?

He squeezed her hand a little bit tighter. "You could've called me, you know."

She looked down at their hands and bit her lip nervously; her stomach lurching at the few words he'd said. "I know. I nearly did but I didn't want to disturb you while you were with your family."

"I wish you had." His words had a slight bitter tone to them and were also tinged with a hint of longing that puzzled her.

She turned her head and looked at him as he sat beside her. She was more worried about him now than she'd been since he turned up; something was really wrong. She hated seeing him hurting like this. Of its own free will her other hand reached up and touched his face; caressing his cheek with her fingertips. Kara wasn't sure what had made her decide to take this course of action but she couldn't say she disliked it either. She was still confused by the way he was behaving towards her; this was not how they usually were with each other and yet it seemed so right as well. Lee turned his face towards her and stared into her eyes deeply. Kara stared at him; captivated by the emotion she saw there and surprised to see tears welling in his expressive eyes. Suddenly she had to know what he was thinking; if there was a way she could help him. "Please talk to me, Lee. I can tell something's wrong and I want to help. You trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I trust you. I just can't talk about it. Not yet anyway." There was desperation in his voice and it made her sad; her heart aching for the pain he was in.

"So how can I help you?" She was almost pleading with him and she hoped he would let her in.

He looked at her intently; working out if he could really ask what he wanted to. "Can you…?" he stopped and dragged his eyes from hers; chickening out of saying the words.

Her interest in what he was trying to say was piqued. Her hand urged his face back to look at hers and she smiled at him softly. "What?" she murmured.

"Can you hold me?" he whispered.

It wasn't what she'd expected him to say but her smile grew and she moved her hand from his face; across his shoulder and pulling him towards her. His arms moved easily around her waist; holding her tight in their grip; the tension still obvious in his body. His head rested on her shoulder and she rubbed her hand up and down his back gently. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes; Kara continuing to brush her hand over his back; feeling the tension gradually fall from his body. She couldn't argue with the fact that she also feeling better from this as well.

She had to admit though that this wasn't enough; not for her anyway. She pulled away from him and looked down at his face. She took his hand in hers again and squeezed it gently. She shuffled back on the bed and lay down; pulling on his hand gently so he lay down next to her. He rolled onto his side and looked at her face; staring into her eyes. "Lee…" Her voice drifted away as she was hit by the power of his eyes; always the eyes.

"I had a huge fight with my dad." He said softly; suddenly needing to tell her what was wrong.

"What about?" She was aware it must've been huge if he'd come back to the Academy. What could make a father and son fall out so badly; she had no experience of that. She'd never got on with her mother; she knew Lee did get on with his dad; at least a little bit.

"Everything I guess. It's been building for a while and today I couldn't hold back any longer. The tension since I got home has been increasing; I'm not used to my dad being there and he hates being land locked. Today was the culmination of all that." His eyes were shining and again they bewitched her and distract her for some time.

She knew there was more to it than a row with his dad. There was only one other thing that could upset him this way and Kara had a suspicion she knew what it was. "What did your mum say?" She knew how close Lee was to his mother and it was the only thing that could affect him this badly.

"Nothing at first, then she tried to talk to me while I was packing my stuff. She took my dad's side and told me I was wrong. I don't understand how she can agree with him all the time. He's not always right." His frustration made its way into his voice and shame washed over his face as he realized it.

She was silent for a second and stared into his eyes. "Were you right?"

He stared at her for a moment; a lopsided grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Maybe. I don't know. I can't remember all the stuff that was said. I know some of what I said was right but some of what he said probably was as well."

Somehow they seemed to lying closer to each other than they had been but Kara couldn't remember either of them moving. Her hand moved to his face again and Kara tried not to notice how her heart beat a little faster when his eyes fluttered shut as her thumb brushed his cheek. "Why did you come back here?" she said softly. She needed to know the truth behind his decision to come back to campus. There were many other places he could've gone. Could it really be just because he wanted to see her?

His eyes opened and his hand moved up to mirror the action of hers on her face. "I wasn't intending to originally; I was going to go and stay with my grandparents for the remainder of the break but after my mum came and spoke to me I got so angry." A blush marred his face as he spoke and he tore his eyes from hers for a fraction of a second; then bringing them back to hers again. "When she left I knew I needed to get further away from them; I thought of you and I realized I'd missed you so much. I wanted to see you so I decided to come back early. I dropped off my bags at my room and came right here. Being here was the only place I wanted – no, actually needed to be."

Her mouth went dry as she processed what he'd just said. Kara didn't know how to respond. She wasn't sure how to take what he'd just said to her. Why did her heart speed up when he said those words? She just didn't know how he meant it though. Was she reading too much into what he'd said? She licked her lips and then finally spoke; her voice quiet. "I'm sorry you had a fight with your parents but I'm glad you're here. I've spent the last week wishing you were here and now you are." Her words were soft but he stared into her eyes for some time after she fell to silence and she felt a weight lift off her shoulders to finally admit to him a little of how she felt.

"I'm glad I'm here too." He finally murmured.

He was still staring at her and Kara couldn't help staring back at him. Her brain was whirling; wondering what it was that was happening between them. Was she imagining the signs she thought she could see? She could see how upset he was; it was still written over his face and she pulled him closer to her so she could hug him again; needing to break the contact with his eyes so she could regain some of the control she felt she was going to need. His head was cradled in her neck and she brushed her fingers through his hair gently. They lay this way for some time; Kara giving him comfort and relief from the thoughts resonating through his brain. Lee's hand had moved down to her waist as they lay there and was now splayed across her back. The heat of his hand seemed to be searing into her skin and Kara felt a buzz flowing through her. It was all very confusing; to her at least. Somehow she got the impression Lee wasn't as confused as she was.

Her confusion increased further when she felt his lips brush the skin of her neck as his head lay on her shoulder. Her hand stilled in his hair and she closed her eyes as he sucked gently at the point where her neck met her shoulder; a point she'd always found particularly sensitive. A point where she was sure he'd be able to feel the pounding of her blood through her veins. His hand was creeping up her back; leaving a burning trail in its midst and Kara unable to work out how she should be reacting to what was happening; she could barely breathe she was so unsure of what to do. Her hand began to move in his hair again; her instincts taking over as her mind continued to spin.

His mouth was moving up her neck now; edging ever closer to her mouth. She continued to hold her breath as his mouth kissed her jaw; his teeth softly nipping at her skin. Her heart was racing quicker now; even faster than it was when he'd first kissed her. The hand on her back pulled her closer to him; pressing her body against his; her breasts squashed against his chest. Time seemed to stand still for Kara; a vacuum being created in the room as she felt him kiss her over and over.

"Lee." Her breath finally left her body; his name a sigh from her lips. Her voice made him stop; his mouth stopping its progress and he hesitantly pulled away to look at her face. She stared at him; looking deep into his eyes; into the dark blue; trying to work out what he was thinking once more. As always it was proving difficult.

His hand rose to her face and stroked her cheek. His eyes moved slowly across her face; measuring the look on it; finding a stunned but not unwelcome expression on it. Slowly his head moved back towards hers; his mouth softly pressing against her lips. He kissed her as tenderly as he'd done her neck earlier; slowly increasing the pressure on her mouth. Kara's eyes fluttered shut the moment his mouth met hers and she allowed herself to enjoy the experience of Lee Adama kissing her. Her hand was now holding his head in place; ensuring his mouth didn't move from hers until she allowed him to. She was still trying to work out if she wanted him to stop what he was doing; from the way her heart was thudding in her chest, she didn't think she did.

Lee was happy to continue worshiping her; his tongue brushing across her lips; wanting to gain access to her mouth. His heart was also racing; he was finally doing something he'd wanted to do ever since he'd met her that first combined flight class; even longer really – ever since the first time he saw her across the courtyard in the first week of being at the Academy. Now his initial attraction to her was finally breaking free; the more he'd got to know her the more he'd longed to do just what he was doing now; he just hoped Kara was as into this as he was.

Finally the need for oxygen forced them apart; their heavy breathing echoed round Kara's room. He opened his eyes to find her soft brown ones staring at him; shining brightly. His fingers stroked the skin of her cheek again as he stared at her. Neither of them spoke; both scared to break the fragile moment between them. A slight tension had seeped back into the room and both of them could now feel it cushioning their bodies as they tried to work out their next step.

TBC

**A/N: Sorry - that's probably a really rubbish place to stop - but hey, at least you only have to wait until tomorrow... Let me know what you think. Like the direction it's going in?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Morning. So as I know it'll be difficult for me to post this later today, here is the next chapter. Longest one so far as well... so enjoy.**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 4.**

Lee knew what he wanted but had no idea if Kara wanted the same thing. And he was worried that one wrong move would lead to something happening which could affect their friendship more than he was willing to risk. Having said that he could've already gone too far in order for them to go back to their previous relationship if that was what Kara wanted but Lee wasn't sure he wanted them to.

He pulled away from her and sat up on the bed beside her. He stared down at her and she stared back at him; her eyes wide and a small smile on her face. His hand moved to her top and he slowly lowered the zip on her hooded top; maintaining eye contact with her and going slow enough that she could stop him if she didn't want him to do this. She didn't move at all and Lee took that as a good sign. When the zip was undone his eyes lowered and grazed over her body. She was wearing a sports bra under the top and his eyes briefly focused on each peak beneath the black material.

Kara watched him looking at her body; she couldn't breathe now even if she'd wanted to. This was really happening and she was still trying to catch up with the rapid shift in their relationship; changing from friendship to something more? She wasn't sure she was going to be able; or even knew how to handle this quick change and she was fairly sure that at some stage Lee would freak out about it as well. For the time being though she was just going to go with the flow and see what happened because it was only now she realized this was what she'd wanted all along.

Lee stopped moving as he stared at her body. It was a surprise to him; normally she was usually dressed in her uniform which were hardly flattering to the female form and looking at what he'd now uncovered showed him what he'd been missing all these weeks. Putting it simply she was beautiful. Realistically it shouldn't have been that much of a shock to him as he'd always thought she was but to see it laid before him now just re-established the fact for him. It also confirmed to him that he'd made the right decision by taking this step with her. Not that he only wanted to do this because of how she looked; there was so much more to this than that; but it was hardly a downside to have her looking the way she did. He looked up at her face and saw her still staring at him; studying his reaction to her. He smiled at her and she mirrored his expression. He licked his lips; trying to draw the strength to ask what he needed to know so badly. "Is this okay?" he whispered to her. She nodded slowly and he could see she was as stunned by this turn of events as he was; this wasn't what he'd had in mind when he made the decision to come here. "Is this what you want?" he asked. Another nod. "I need to hear you say it, Kara." He said; unable to look at her face now.

"This is what I want, Lee. I didn't realize it until now but it is." She said softly.

He took her hand in his; squeezing it gently and pulled on her arm so she sat up; putting her much closer to him again and pulled on her arm so she sat up. Her face was inches from his and he couldn't resist leaning forward and kissing her gently. As his mouth met hers his other hand moved to her shoulder and gently eased her top from her body; her hands assisting by pulling themselves from the sleeves as he did so. As soon as she was free she moved to his jacket and worked it from his body. He smiled against her mouth at her eagerness; they seemed to finally be on the same page. Soon his top half was completely naked as she removed his T-shirt from him as well. Their kiss broke so he could finish removing his top and they were now staring at each other; desire clear on both their faces. Kara launched herself at him; kissing him passionately as she pushed him to lie back on the mattress. His hands brushed down her back as they kissed before settling at her waist. As their kiss deepened he pulled her so she was straddling his body. She groaned softly into his mouth as his hands drifted lower and pulled her ass against him; hard.

Kara could feel his length beneath her; could feel it hardening as they kissed each other more. This was unbelievable; she was so shocked this was happening. She was resting on her arms as they lay by his head and her fingers ran through his hair; smiling slightly as she messed it from its usual precise style. Her mouth moved from his and she stared down at him; breathing deeply to replace the much needed oxygen she was still lacking.

"I'm so glad I came to see you." He whispered.

"I am too." She whispered back. "Are you sure this is what you want, Lee?"

"It's the only thing I'm sure of."

He sounded so sure; like he really believed what he'd said. Kara couldn't understand why she found it so difficult to accept what he was saying? "I just don't want us to do something that will ruin the friendship we've got." Suddenly she wasn't sure they were doing the right thing. She wasn't sure she wanted to risk losing his friendship because it meant so much to her.

"I promise you Kara, nothing will change."

"I hope you're right."

"I usually am." He smirked at her and then craned his neck up and kissed her again; his hand brushing her hair away from her face and behind her ear. "Are we going to do this?" he whispered against her mouth.

"Do you really want to?"

"Gods, yes."

Kara could hear the need in the tone and knew it matched that which she was finding so difficult to voice. "So do I."

He kissed her again; his mouth opening and his tongue sweeping into her mouth. She closed her eyes as she felt and then tasted him in her mouth. His kisses were intense; were sensual and more than anything they were hot. His kisses reminded her of him; everything he did, he did with the same intensity and everything naturally had the same innate sensuality. And of course he was hot; he didn't have to try with that at all. She tried to remember a time when someone had kissed her the way Lee was now. She couldn't think of a time which kind of left her feeling empty until she remembered Lee was doing so now. All thoughts fled her head as his hand crept down her back; moving from her hair, his fingers tracing the curve of her spine; sending tingles through her body. She shivered above him as his hand tickled her softly. Their kiss deepened and both hinted to the other what they were feeling as their tongues swept around their mouths and brushed against each other.

This wasn't the first time she'd done this with a guy; far from it but somehow this felt like a completely new experience. She couldn't remember anything other than the way Lee was making her feel. She pulled her mouth from his as both hands climbed her body again and brushed the sides of her breasts; the material of her bra was the only thing hampering him from really touching her. Each of his hands moved to cup her breasts and she smiled down at him as she saw his eyes close briefly when he first touched her. She wished he'd already removed her bra because she longed for him to touch each peak with those wonderful hands; the hands that had apparently mastered the controls of a Viper so well. She only hoped they were as adept in their current mission.

Even as she thought it his hands shifted their focus and moved to the material of her bra. His fingers worked beneath the material and he began the slow process of moving the tight top off her body. She started to move so she could assist him but his eyes met hers quickly and he shook his head very slightly. She stilled and watched his face as he glanced down to focus once more on his task. She could feel the cool air of the room softly attacking her body as he worked the material up her body and as she lifted her arms so he could pull it from her body his fingers tickled the skin as it brushed by. Her top half was now as naked as his was. He licked his lips as he finally saw her breasts; free from the material and Kara saw the emotion on his face as he stared at her body. She should be feeling embarrassed; she had whenever she'd done this before; that initial moment of exposure always making her feel a moment of weakness. Now though as she saw the desire on his face she felt a power she'd never experienced before.

She was torn as to what she wanted him to do next. The options open to them were vast and she had no idea where she wanted him to start. She leaned down slightly and her lips brushed against his again; careful to ensure her body didn't touch his. Not yet anyway. The kiss was passionate and she could almost taste the desire as Lee kissed her deeply.

When the need for air got too much Kara pulled away from him; moving further away as he tried to reignite the kiss. Using her arms she pushed herself up so she sat straddling his groin. His arousal had increased since he'd removed her top and she could feel him hardening further beneath her as she sat on top of him. She stared down at him; initially his eyes were on her face and she smiled at him tenderly. Gradually his eyes moved downwards; moving down to her chest and settling on what she'd revealed to him. His hands had been resting on the mattress since she'd sat up but now moved to her knees and then up her body. She sighed as his fingers brushed the sides of her breasts again; this time no material hampering him from touching her. She leant forward slightly; trying to encourage him to touch her more. Her eyes shut as his thumbs grazed the underside of each peak and she shifted on top of him; feeling his length pressing against her intimately.

His hands faltered slightly as she pressed down on him. He was breathing shallowly as he focused once more on touching her chest. He seemed to know what she wanted and he smiled as he heard her groan softly in frustration as he determinedly ignored the peak of each breast. She shivered against him; sighing his name when his fingertips moved closer to the nipples. Her eyes opened and he looked into the hazel she revealed; he could see she was intoxicated by what he was doing and there was a slightly unfocused look to her face that told him how much he was affecting her.

He gave in to what she wanted and his thumbs swept over the nipple of each peak. She inhaled as he touched her. "Can I kiss you?" he asked softly.

"Of course you can." She was surprised he'd asked as it wasn't something that was new to them. She saw him smile at her and she tried not to show her disappointment as he moved his hands from her chest so he could push himself to a sitting position.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. She did as he asked; wondering just what he was up to but trusting him completely. She almost blacked out as she felt his lips circle one of her nipples. That was not what she'd been expecting him to do but gods did it feel amazing. A hand moved to her neglected breast and this time she moaned softly as his fingers pulled gently on its pert peak. His tongue brushed over its partner and Kara swore she could see stars. He sucked on her breast and she could almost feel the thread of desire connecting her nipple and groin. She writhed on him and smiled slightly as she heard him groan. His mouth moved to her other breast and repeated his actions with as much eagerness. His teeth grazed the skin of her breast and Kara bit her lip as the blood seemed to rush to her groin in a flood of desire.

"Lee…" she sighed softly; her use of his name begging him to continue; to move what they were doing further forward. Her hand was resting at the nape of his neck and her fingers were brushing the hair at his neckline. His hair had grown over the term and was long enough now for her to weave her fingers through. His mouth was moving up her chest now and was just about to reach her neck; almost at the spot where he'd first kissed her not so long ago. His lips paused there for some time; his hands had moved around to her body and were splayed across her back; pulling her against him and managing to almost sear her skin like she'd imagined them doing earlier.

Lee was almost at the point of desperation now; he wanted this to move much faster than it was but at the same time he knew this was special. They would never have a first time together again and he wanted to savor every second of it. His mouth began to climb her neck again and soon he was at her ear; he pulled the lobe into his mouth and nipped at it gently with his teeth. He could hear her breathing deeply; each exhale brushing past his cheek and ear. "Are you sure you want to do this, Kara? We can stop now if you've changed your mind."

"I want to do this, Lee." She wriggled on his lap slightly and he shut his eyes as his cock was trapped between their bodies. She also seriously doubted either of them would be able to stop now; the desire they were both feeling pushing them on.

"Stand up, Kara." he said softly.

Her head pulled away from his and she looked into his eyes. She must've been satisfied with what she saw because she rose to her knees and then stepped down onto the floor. He shifted forward to the edge of the bed and then stood and walked the two steps towards her. She was looking at his face after she'd got up but as he stood he saw her eyes drift down his body. He tried to ignore his embarrassment at her seeing him like this; now wasn't the time to think about that. What they were about to do reduced the need to feel any shame. He watched her face as she stared at his arousal pushing against his pants. It had been a long time since he'd been this aroused; this was definitely the first time since he'd started at the Academy he'd even considered doing this with anyone. He'd had offers; some of the cadets had been virtually throwing themselves at him – and not all of them female much to Lee's embarrassment – but none of them had interested him. At the time he'd tried to convince himself he was focusing on his studies and didn't have time for a relationship but really the only girl that held his attention was the girl standing in front of him now. Kara hadn't shown any inclination to be anything more than his friend and Lee still wasn't sure what it was that had pushed him to take that leap of faith and kiss her. He could honestly now say he was glad he had.

He took a couple more steps towards her and her head rose so she looked into his eyes. He was slightly taller than her; just a couple of inches but as he moved nearer to her she had to look up at him. Her hand moved to hold his and she gripped it as she watched him. "I don't know what you want me to do, Lee."

"You don't need to do anything, Kara. Let me do everything." She stilled and looked at him. "Can you do that?" he whispered. He knew he was asking a lot. It was unlike a pilot to relinquish complete control to anyone so he knew just what he was asking her to do. Time seemed to freeze as he waited for her to respond. Finally she nodded slightly at him and Lee was surprised by the relief that wound through him. He leant forward and kissed her tenderly; her mouth opening to welcome his tongue.

His free hand wound round her back; lowering slightly so he cupped her ass and then pulled her towards him. His cock felt heavy as it pressed against her hip and he longed to be able to free himself from his confines and take her; show her how much he wanted this; how much he needed her. His concern he was pushing her to do something she didn't want to do vanished as she pressed herself against him; her hand reached up for the back of his neck again; holding his head in place.

Lee released his hold on her hand and moved it to her waist; his fingers quickly pushing beneath the elastic waistband of her sweatpants. Her mouth moved against his harder as she felt his hands exploring new territory. It didn't take long for them to fall down her legs and she stepped out of them. She was now only wearing her panties and her desire was increasing as time passed.

They were no longer kissing and Kara stared at him; biting her lip as the tension built within her. "This feels strange." She whispered.

Lee froze at her words and looked at her with concern. "Strange in a bad way?" he whispered.

She shook her head and smiled at him slightly. "I don't think so; I guess it feels like we shouldn't be doing this; that someone's going to walk in here and put us on report."

"We don't have to do this, Kara. If you've changed your mind, it's okay."

"I haven't changed my mind. I'm just trying to get my head around it all."

"Are you sure?" He suddenly wasn't as sure she was as into this as he needed her to be.

One of her hands reached for his face and cupped his cheek. He stared into her eyes; trying to read just what she was thinking. His eyes widened as he was suddenly aware her other hand was cupping him through his pants. Kara decided enough was enough; knowing she needed to tell him exactly what she wanted. No wasn't the time to hold back. "I know this is what I want, Lee." Her mouth met his in the briefest of kisses. "I want you to make me fly; I want you filling me; buried deep within me." She was staring into his eyes and he could feel her lips brushing against his as she spoke.

He believed her. She knew what she wanted and it made his head spin slightly that she wanted him. Her words were having an effect on him and he knew she'd be able to feel his cock swelling even more in her hand in reaction to what she'd said. He needed to take the next step with her so he pulled her against him again; trapping her hand between their bodies; her fingers still circled him through the material. Slowly he stepped forward; gently pushing her back until she was standing against the wall beside the doorway to her room. Another kiss was shared; instigated by Lee before he pulled away from her and took two steps back. He could feel her staring at him as he pushed his pants down his body and kicked them across the floor. His cock ached for freedom but he refused to do that just yet knowing that once he did, what they were doing would leap to the final act and despite everything Lee wanted to take his time.

"Close your eyes…" he murmured. Kara hesitated for a second before remembering what happened the last time he'd told her to do that. She tried to control her breathing as the desire in her body fought for escape. She wanted him to start worshipping her; longed for the moment he first pushed into her. Her senses were going into overload and reached another crescendo as she felt his mouth kiss her through her panties.

He'd knelt on the ground before her once she closed her eyes and shuffled forward; staring at the apex of her legs. He could see she was turned on as the moisture that had formed in her underwear indicated her desire. His mouth pressed against her; kissing her softly. He felt her legs shake slightly and heard her breath falter. He smiled against her and his hands moved to her waist; gripping the skin just above the waistband of her underwear. His mouth climbed upwards and finally kissed her naval; his tongue dipping into the well. She gasped his name and the sound makes his cock harden even further; surprising him immensely. Ever so slowly his fingers nudged beneath her panties and he pulled them down her legs. His mouth followed their descent and in no time he was sucking on her clit; enticing the small nub to a peak. He longed to hear her cry out his name as she came but at the same time wanted to be buried in her the first time she did. It was a quandary he didn't know the answer to. "Lee… stop." His heart stopped when she spoke and he stilled for several seconds.

TBC

**A/N: I know... an even worse cliff hanger than yesterday... sorry. Still only a few hours to wait. Please review... they keep me going... and I respond to every (signed) one - good or bad. I'm interested to hear what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So here it is - the bit that some of you have been waiting for. A relatively short - but no less important chapter. Not just because of the sex - but the bit after.**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 5.**

He pulled his mouth away from her and looked up at her face; ready to see the rejection of him on her face but hoping he wouldn't. Instead all he saw was longing. Her hand reached for his face and her fingers pulled him up as they touched under his chin. He wasn't sure what she wanted but followed her lead and got to his feet. Her mouth met his in a heated kiss. Lee concentrated on the kiss; on reassuring her he wouldn't force her to do anything and it took him some time before he realized she was pushing his boxers down his legs. His cock sprang from its confine and pressed against her stomach; finally free to stand fully erect. He tried to focus on what her hands were doing but her tongue was distracting him intently; which he knew was her plan. He seemed to have ignited the passion within her and he was more than ready to give as much back.

Her hand was stroking him now; her grip tight on him. He became more aware as her mouth lightened its pressure on his. Her other arm was around his neck and was pulling him up against her; her back flat against the wall behind her. Kara's movements were so subtle his reaction was slightly delayed as she moved his length to her entrance. Her mouth ripped from his and she stared at him; fire burning in her eyes as she gasped for breath. She sank onto him slowly; the first inch of his length stretching her open. She smiled at him and her eyes fluttered shut as she let the moment wash over her; trying to memorize the feel of him within her. She opened them again as Lee joined in and pushed into her as slowly as she moved; their eyes locked on each other in a look that was pure desire as they edged closer together.

Now when he moved he pressed her back against the wall; seeing the relief on her face as his cock continued to push into her. Her other arm was still around his neck and she clung to him and kissed him again; desperation fraying the edges of her desire. His tongue was brushing against hers and sweeping around her mouth as he pushed into her until he was buried deep within her. He remembered what she'd said earlier, "A perfect fit." He whispered; unable to keep the tremor from his voice as he realized how true his words were.

"Make me fly, Lee." She said softly back to him; her eyes sparkling as she spoke.

It was all the invitation he needed but he was encouraged further when she wrapped her legs around his waist. His hands gripped her ass as he felt gravity working to their advantage; pushing him just a little deeper. He pressed his whole body against her; squashing her between him and the wall. He wanted to show her the depth of his emotions for her but his own desire overtook him. His movements were almost frantic and definitely lacked the finesse he'd wanted to perform at. All that being said Kara didn't appear to mind as he thrust in and out of her. Their mouths tangled once more in a kiss and their tongues danced with each other.

Kara had never felt anything like this. She loved the aggression she was getting from Lee and the feel of him buried in her just like she'd asked him earlier. She felt closer to him now than she had all the time she'd known him. It wasn't just the physical connection which was obviously more than it had been before; she also felt like they had a better understanding of each other; they'd always challenged each other ever since they'd first met and Kara was relishing the chance to fly opposite him. Talking of flying she could feel that moment approaching at a rapid speed. His mouth had moved from hers and she could feel his lips on her neck; sucking on the skin at the base of her neck again. She was gasping for oxygen as he pushed into her again and again. She knew it wouldn't be much longer before she came and she was going to come hard; possibly the hardest she ever had before.

Lee had no idea where he'd got this energy from; there was no way he should've been able to maintain this for as long as he had done. He was so close to coming but wanted Kara to come first; needed her to come first. Her legs tightened around his waist and he hoped that meant she was nearly there because he wasn't sure how much longer he could continue. He was still thinking this when she cried out softly and her body clutched at him as he still moved within her. Her hands grasped at his shoulders as she rode the waves ebbing over her. Kara knew it was just a taster; the real event would be close behind. Lee tightened his grip on her hips as he knew he was going to reach his peak very soon himself. He was sure he would be leaving marks on her skin where he was clutching her; pride hit him hard at that thought. His mouth moved again from her neck and climbed up to her ear. "I'm close, Kara. So close." His words hit her with force and she began to move on him; trying to push him past the barrier. She turned her head so her mouth met his and the kiss was fervent as they both fought for dominance over the other.

Kara's hands cupped his face as she kissed him; hoping Lee would push through soon. She was edging closer to her real peak; the last one having been a pre-cursor to the one rapidly approaching now. Her emotions were heightening as the time passed. Kara felt Lee begin to shake against her and she knew he was on the verge of coming. Even as she thought it Lee moaned into her mouth and she felt his cock begin to pulse within her. His cock was swelling even more within her; the feel of him throbbing was enough to cause her to scream his name; her mouth ripping from his as she writhed on him. He was still moving within her and as she leaned back against the wall; needing the support behind her; the angle he was in her changed slightly and brushed against her inside wall. Another peak slammed into her and again she cried out his name. His hand pushed between their bodies and brushed over her clit; prolonging her high as much as he could. His movements had ceased now; his energy finally waning and he was sure Kara was feeling much the same.

It wasn't long before Lee wrapped his arms around her body and moved them both across the room to lie on her bed. He was still buried deep within her and was loathed to leave the haven he'd discovered for the first time today. He lay on top of her; both of them quiet as they reflected on what had just happened between the two of them. She stared up at him and looked into his eyes; the blue captivating her as it always did. He looked at her just as intently; a small smile gracing his lips. Eventually he rolled them so his weight wasn't on her completely; finally slipping from her. Kara leant forward and kissed him softly; brushing her tongue against his. "Thank you, Lee." She said softly.

"You don't need to thank me. I should be thanking you. You've been a really good friend to me in the last few months and you mean such a lot to me. I can't believe it's taken me this long to do this. I've wanted to pretty much since the first time I saw you." She blushed prettily as he spoke to her. "As I got to know you I wanted it more. Now I've experienced being with you and it was amazing." He wanted to say more but they drifted into silence for some time. His curiosity eventually drove him to speak again; wanting to understand more about her because that seemed like a never-ending challenge. "What are you thinking, Kara?"

"I'm just stunned, really. Surprised you'd be interested in someone like me."

"Why would that be so surprising to you? You're beautiful, fiery and generous to others. You challenge me in ways I've never been before." She stared at him; bemused by his words. Lee watched her face as she processed what he'd said. "Talk to me." He said, repeating her earlier request to him; hoping it would convince her to open up to him.

She shook her head; as if to awaken herself. "I can't believe this has happened. I remember seeing you on the first day of term." He could tell from her voice she felt like this was a dream. "You were all anyone could talk about; everyone was making judgments about you but I saw you and I just wanted to get to know you more; get to know you properly. There was something about you which intrigued me and I knew it was nothing to do with who you are; or how you look."

"How I look?" It was his turn to have disbelief edge into his voice.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately, Lee? You're very pleasing on the eyes. You look amazing in your uniform; all the girls are besotted with you. " She paused and smiled at him; a slight evil grin on her face. "They'd be very jealous if they could see us now. I'd have to watch my back in case someone decided to get rid of their competition."

"I'd protect you." Lee smiled at her; he did thinking she was joking though. "I still think you're exaggerating things slightly."

"If anything, I'm not going far enough." She kissed him again briefly. "You really have no idea, do you?"

He was quiet for a minute. "I know I'm okay looking. I'm not ugly." Kara laughed loudly at his words. "I just don't think girls would be falling at my feet if I was to offer myself to them."

"They would, Lee, believe me. They would need very little encouragement." Her voice softened, "I needed very little encouragement."

He stared at her and could see she completely believed what she was saying. He had to believe her; take her words as the truth and yet part of him still couldn't quite get to grips with it. There was a smile on her face and he leant forward and kissed her softly; brushing his tongue against hers when she eagerly accepted it into her mouth. His hand brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear; once the kiss ended and stared at her face again. The smile was still present and he could see the sparkle in her eyes. "I'm glad you didn't." She yawned softly and a blush crept onto her face. "We should get some sleep."

"I'm not tired." She argued.

"You should be. I am."

Her smile grew. "Have I worn the mighty Lee Adama out?" she teased.

He leant forward and kissed the tip of her nose. "I just need a little break, before we do all that again." Her blush increased and all of a sudden she couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her towards him; her legs automatically entwining with his. She rested her head on his shoulder and her hand moved across his chest; playing with the fine hair that was scattered across it.

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

He kissed the top of her head and tightened his arms around her. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Kara."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes."

"There aren't any take-backs, Lee."

He lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes and stared in their depths. "I don't want there to be, Kara. You're mine now. No one else's… ever." 'Did that sound too possessive?' he wondered.

"Okay." She whispered. A quick buzz went through her at the prospect of what he'd just said.

TBC

**A/N: Hoped you liked it. Let me know what you think. Back tomorrow.**


	6. Chapter 6

**So here is the next chapter... Now before you read this I should probably tell you that there has been a jump in time and another shift in the relationship between Kara and Lee. This will probably leave you a little confused but don't worry I will fill in the gaps. The story just works better like this - so bear with me.**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 6.**

Kara walked into the room, a knot of nerves building in her stomach. This was the moment she'd been waiting for; the last few weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions for her and today was the only thing she'd been able to concentrate on apart from the mess that was her life; and yet she'd been dreading it just as much. There seemed to be tension in the air as she walked to the row of seats where she usually sat. The whole of the room seemed to know this was going to be a special day. She sat in her seat and tried to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to face; it was possibly her biggest test to date; in more ways than one. The chair next to hers was taken by someone and Kara knew instantly who it was. She turned to face him; a smile creeping onto her face. She greeted him by name. "Karl."

"Kara." He studied her face and Kara knew what he was going to ask next. "Are you ready for this?"

"As I'll ever be."

"He hasn't tried to talk to you today, has he?" His voice was bitter. She shook her head. "That's probably just as well." Karl looked at her; noticing the changes in her since the first semester. She was different to how she'd been when she first started the year. HE had changed her and Karl didn't like it; he didn't like it one little bit. He sighed as he saw the tension in her body; she was as on edge as he'd ever seen her. He just hoped she was strong enough to get through today. Also she wished there was something he could do to help her through this but she'd stopped letting him help her a few weeks ago so now he just felt helpless.

Kara sat in her seat; refusing to look around the room; knowing her eyes would automatically look for him. It was the first time she'd been in a room with him since it had happened and she was worried about how she was going to handle it. Despite the fact there were many other people in the room; Kara had never felt so alone and she knew it was partly her own fault. Karl had been trying to get her to open up to him but Kara wouldn't let him; she wasn't going to let anyone get that close to her again; ever.

There were people from her class beginning to sit near her now, each one wishing her well and offering their support. Kara was beginning to get a little overwhelmed by it all. "Is he here yet?" she asked Karl softly; trepidation barely hidden from her voice. She wanted to kick herself; why was she so desperate to know?

"Yeah. He was just ahead of me when I walked in."

Kara looked around the room; looking for her opponent and trying her hardest to keep her face steady when she saw him. He was sitting across the room and he looked at her at the same time. Lee Adama. Kara couldn't breathe and her stomach rolled as she locked eyes with him. A billion thoughts swirled through her and she wondered again how she'd got to this point. What had changed since that wonderful day during the break? Looking back at it now, that day was a distant memory and she was beginning to wonder if maybe she'd imagined it. She tore her eyes from his; feeling their usual impact hit her like a punch. She turned back to face the front of the room and closed her eyes; taking a deep steadying breath. "Gods, I don't know if I can do this, Karl." She whispered. Her heart was beating too fast and she was beginning to feel a little faint. She could feel her hands were definitely clammy and she brushed them self-consciously down her pants. She couldn't get the look on his face from out of her head; it was there every time she shut her eyes. Why was there a spark of concern about him meandering through her? He'd done nothing to deserve it.

"Of course you can." Karl said; bringing her back to their conversation. He sounded so confident and it went a little way to reaffirming hers.

The room was silent as their instructor walked into the room. The tension in the room amplified further and it seemed everyone was holding their breath. Kara definitely was; nausea pooling in her gut and she wondered again if she was going to be able to handle this. Could she cope with seeing him fly?

"So today is the day you've been working towards for the last few months. Today is the culmination of your hard effort and we'll soon be seeing just who is the best among you." There was a dramatic pause and Kara felt her impatience grow as the seconds ticked by. "As you're all aware, today we'll be testing the two best cadets from each group in the year against each other. You'll have seen the chart showing who will be facing off against each other. The first round will be a five minute simulation and the person who scores the most points in each pair will be the victor and move onto the next round. Each round will increase in difficulty and will be one minutes longer than the previous one; pushing each pilot to their limits. The final will be even longer; twelve minutes long and will stretch its two protagonists further than they've been before." Excitement built in the room as he continued to speak. "Those of you not lucky enough to be taking part in this event will be able to see the candidate's flights on the screens behind me. This day is always a special day in the year and I'm sure this year will be no different to those before it. I'd like to wish all pilot's taking part the best of luck and may the best person win."

Kara sat in her chair; a bundle of nerves and an emotional wreck. She'd seen the list of people she'd be flying against as she progressed through the competition and she knew the last person she'd be flying against; if everything went right; would be Lee. It seemed ironic really that it would be him she'd have to fly against and beat in order to be called Top Gun. It had been what she'd wanted from that first class. It'd been all they'd talked about last semester; both of them joking about having to out fly the other to get that coveted title. Now it was really going to happen. Kara knew she would get to the final and something told her it would be Lee she was going to face. She wasn't sure if she was looking forward to it or dreading it; it was probably roughly equal amounts of both currently but she knew that would change later.

****

The whole day had been set aside for this competition with time being given between each round to allow its participants to get a break. Kara was in the first pair to fly and she quickly dispatched her opponent; not finding them to be much of a challenge. She watched the rest of the matches in that round with interest; weighing the talent of each pilots against hers; nervously waiting for Lee's first flight. He was one of the last two flying. She saw him stand when his name was called and slowly walk towards the simulator. The girl he was down to fly against looked very nervous as she walked to the front of the room; the girl could barely look at Lee and Kara knew just how she felt as she could hardly look in his direction either. Yet her eyes were drawn to him; regardless of how much she fought it. Kara's body was rigid as she watched the two of them climb into their respective simulators. This would be the first time she'd see Lee fly and she was focused completely on his screen as the simulators began.

As with her one it began slowly but Kara could soon see the slight differences to the test she'd flown. It didn't take too long for her to see Lee was good; she could see straightaway he was as good a pilot as she was. Her eyes flickered to his opponents screen just in time to see her make a small mistake. She looked back to Lee's screen and saw the display move with ease through each obstacle that appeared before him. She knew he'd won without looking at the scores and despite everything she was glad he had. It was more important to her now than anything that she faced him in the final. She wanted to beat him; whatever it cost her to do so.

Lee caught her eyes as he climbed out of the simulator and held them as he was declared the victor. The atmosphere lightened as the two pilots walked back to their seats and the pilots were all dismissed for an hour break while the simulators were set up for the next round.

The cadets filtered from the room and out of the building; all eager to get some fresh air. Kara found herself making her way to the place she'd sat with Lee after that first class. She wasn't sure why she was drawn to there but it felt right that she did. Karl had intuitively seemed to know she wanted to be left alone and she was grateful to him for doing so.

She was deep in thought when she heard him sit next to her. She'd instinctively known he would come here as well and maybe that was why she'd come here in the first place. Now though she wished he wasn't here. She couldn't face him; not after everything that had happened. She sat in silence; waiting and wondering how long it would be before one of them spoke; knowing it wouldn't be her to do so.

Sure enough Lee was the first to speak. "You flew really well, Kara. You were amazing." She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. She still couldn't speak; it hurt to look at him never mind talk to him. She drew her knees up to her chest and looked away from him again; taking a deep breath as she curled her arms around her legs. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

She could hear the emotion in his voice and wished they'd had a conversation like this when it initially happened. Why was now the first conversation they had? She held her breath as a hundred things ran through her brain. Fury built within her and she bit her tongue to stop herself from punching him. There were better ways for her to beat him today. "You're sorry?" she said harshly; her voice almost a growl.

"Yes."

"I can't believe you! I can't believe you would choose today to be the day you speak to me." The atmosphere was crackling between them. She turned to look at him; fire almost shooting from her eyes. Lee barely flinched as their eyes met. "Lee Adama, you are a coward. You don't deserve someone like me and you never will." She clambered to her feet as she stared at him. He watched her and she saw the pain in his eyes as she turned away from him. She'd barely moved two steps when she heard his voice quietly break through the taught atmosphere.

"You're right." He said softly and Kara paused for a fraction of a second before continuing to the slow walk back across the field. He sat where he was; watching her leave and wishing there was something he could do to make it up to her.

TBC

**A/N: So what do you think? Confused? Please review and let me know. **

**Now for the bad news. My story was saved (lovingly) on my trusty memory stick which as of about two hours ago stopped working so I've lost the remainder of this story. This means I now need to rewrite the remaining chapters so it probably won't be tomorrow that I post the next chapter. So sorry. I cannot tell you how gutted I am that I've lost all my work. I've also lost another story I've been working on for ages so all in all feeling pretty miserable. I'm still going to work on getting the story posted before Christmas so bear with me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So here we are. Sorry for the delay. I've re-written the remainder of the story since I posted the last chapter and I wanted to get it right (or at least as close to the first version as I could) before I updated any more. I'm not convinced it's as good this time but I really can't make it any better. It's pretty soul destroying losing all that work and I know I should've backed it up somewhere but I never imagined I'd lose everything like that. The worst part is I lost about 90% of another story I'd been writing for almost two years so I'm having to almost start from scratch on that one too. Happy New Year!**

**Anyway on with the story. This chapter (hopefully) amps up the tension nicely... and yep you've guessed it there's a cliffhanger at the end. Sorry! But at least now, you've only got to wait until tomorrow before I post the next chapter.  
**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 7.**

The competition progressed and Kara felt the tension within her increase as both her and Lee beat their opponents. Each time she flew; for a few minutes at least she was able to think of something other than Lee but the rest of the time he was always there; she was simply unable to ignore him. Each break she tried to be on her own and each time he was there; he seemed to have a sixth sense of where she would be and he kept trying to talk to her; it was almost killing her each time she pushed him away because a huge part of her wanted to know why he did it; why he left her when he'd promised not to. Now she was barely able to sit still in her seat she was that nervous and the tension around her wasn't helping the way she was feeling; it was almost as if there was a heavy stone in her gut. She took some comfort from the fact her last round before the final had been relatively easy as her rival made a fatal error early on leaving her to complete the run simply. She was now sitting nervously as she waited for Lee to start his penultimate flight. Their eyes had met again just before he'd climbed into the simulator and Kara's stomach rolled as she once more got caught in his stormy blues.

Her tension increased as she'd shifted her gaze to the screen which would show his flight. She needed him to win but she also dreaded the prospect of having to fly against him; not sure if she'd be able to beat him but wanting to so badly it hurt. His flight was close initially but Kara could see his score was slightly higher than his opponent and as the test continued he edged further and further ahead. He stepped down just minutes later and as he was declared the victor Kara felt faintly sick and she knew she needed to leave the room; quickly.

The class was dismissed and Kara almost ran from the room in her desperation to get away. She ran back to the only place she knew she could escape everyone; especially him; and soon she was safely ensconced in the confines of her room at the dorm. It wasn't until she was there and she'd shut the door behind her that she realized it was probably the last place she needed to be. She turned her back to the door; sliding down it to sit on the floor, unable to move any further into the room; she was hit by the memories of a time she didn't want to remember; of a time she did her best to forget and yet her wicked brain wouldn't let her and now she was seeing it in repeated before her. Despite her best efforts she turned her head to the right and it was as if they were both standing there; his body pressing her into the wall; touching her in places she'd never been touched before; in ways she'd only ever dreamt about. He was kissing her so tenderly and yet so passionately. Kara brushed her fingers across her lips as she watched. Tears flooded her eyes as she remembered what had been the best time of her life and was now a painful memory tinged with sadness. She wanted to know why and yet she was scared to ask; had it all be some kind of joke for him? Did he think so little of her that he just left as soon as she fell asleep? If so, why did he make that promise in the first place? There were so many questions in her head but she couldn't find the words to ask him; she didn't have the strength to listen to his answers; she wasn't ready to hear the rejection of her from him. How she wished she'd had the strength on that day to stop what they were doing; she needed her best friend now more than ever; and despite his best efforts Karl wasn't making the grade. She wiped her eyes quickly with her hand; refusing to let the tears overwhelm her; she turned her head to the left; pulling herself away from the image she was seeing. Her eyes fixed on her bed instead and she wished they hadn't as she saw the two of them lying on her bed; wrapped around each other. Both of them looked to be blissfully happy and she wondered if she'd imagined it all because she wasn't sure she'd ever been that happy. Again she was hit with the anger she'd felt when she'd woke and he wasn't there. Anger and disappointment at the promise he'd broken.

His voice was clear in her head as he promised he would be there when she woke and she knew she could never trust him again with her heart; she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to trust anyone with it. The tears were flowing now and she was unable to stop them so she stopped trying; giving in to the emotions that were pulsing within her; that had been building ever since she'd woken up that fateful morning. This wasn't the first time she'd cried because of him and she doubted it would be the last but today it was almost worse than the morning when she'd woke and found him gone. For some reason she felt more emotional today than she had before. Maybe it was just because today was a stressful day anyway or maybe it was because he kept trying to talk to her. Whatever the reason, it hurt; each sob wracked her body and she let it; she needed this and much as she hated to admit it; she needed him. She hated herself more than she hated him because of this need and wished things could be different again; simpler.

****

She had to run back to the test; having lost track of time. She could feel everyone looking at her as she walked back into the room; feeling the tinge of a blush rush to her face as she knew she looked a mess; she hadn't had time to repair the damage done to her face by the tears she'd cried and she felt more self-conscious than ever. She hoped Lee wouldn't notice and then berated herself for still being concerned about what he thought. She slipped into the seat beside Karl; this time hoping he wouldn't mention anything.

"Are you okay, Kara?" he sounded so concerned about her it almost restarted the tears.

"I'm fine." It was a lie and they both knew it. Her stomach rolled again; the nausea making an unwanted reappearance.

"You don't look it."

"Thanks Karl. Now I feel so much better." His words stung and made her feel more of the anger she'd been feeling towards Lee earlier.

"I'm just worried about you."

He did sound concerned but Kara barely heard it this time. "It's him you should be worrying about; I'm going to kick his ass." You could hear the venom in her voice and she wished Lee could hear her so she could hurt him as much as he hurt her.

Karl smiled at her brightly; pleased to hear the anger she was showing. It had been a long time coming. "Good to know."

She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel a little better. The room fell to silence and another wave of nausea hit her as she realized it was time for her to face the music. Her name was called and she rose on decidedly shaky feet. She flashed a watery smile to Karl and made her way to the front of the room; trying not to react when she heard Lee's name also called. She could feel him walking behind her towards the simulators and her heart began to race. She made the mistake of meeting his eyes once they were at the front and again she could see the tension in his face. It somehow filled her with relief that he seemed to be as nervous as she was. She hoped he was suffering as much as she was today; somehow that thought made her feel a little better.

Lee moved first and made his way to the simulator abruptly. The nerves were still there as Kara climbed into her simulator; taking her seat and pulling the helmet and straps on the seat into place. This time the tension didn't disappear as she prepared and she knew the reason for that was sitting in the other simulator. She could hardly breathe as she waited for the test to begin; tension enveloping her. The most important twelve minutes of her life were finally here. She just hoped she didn't frak it up.

The screen before her went blank and she knew it was about to start. It was just the same as the previous tests in that it began slowly but soon she could see and feel it was much harder than any of the simulations she'd flown before. She hoped she was scoring enough points though because she wanted to win; more than anything. She wondered briefly how Lee was doing and the slight distraction caused her to lose focus on her own flying. The simulator was moving quickly as she pulled on the joystick; barely feeling the jolts her body was being forced to absorb. Her concentration now remained focused on her flying; all thoughts of Lee pushed to one side to be gone over at a later time.

****

Karl was watching along with the rest of the class; his eyes flitting from one screen to the other as he watched his two friends fly against each other. It had been painful to watch Kara as she stood at the front of the room with Lee; you could see the tension between them and Karl knew he was the only other person who was aware of the reason for it. Obviously over the last few weeks there had been some speculation about the two of them; and some of it had been pretty close to the mark but nobody, apart from Karl, knew the truth. When he saw them both at the front of the room he saw they both appeared to be suffering as a result of what had happened and for the first time he considered how Lee must be feeling about it all. He'd never thought about it before; his first priority had been to Kara but he'd seen the strain in his body as he faced Kara and he could see how gaunt Lee looked; he was a shadow of how he'd been when he first met him and Karl was beginning to worry about him as much as he did about Kara. Karl turned his attention back to the screens and he was again glad he wasn't the one who had to decide who won because he wasn't sure he could call it. As he was watching Kara's screen he saw her make a small error and he wondered what it was that caused her to lose concentration; although he had a fairly good idea what it could be. He hoped that wouldn't be what caused her to lose the final. He looked at Lee's screen in time for him to see him to make a similar error and he knew this was going to be very close. They were barely halfway through the simulation and Karl wished he could see who was winning. This was the only time they hadn't been able to see the scores of the two pilots and Karl was so eager to see who would win. It seemed everyone else in the room was as keen as he was to discover just who the best pilot was because the tension in the room was palpable.

Finally it was over and the screens went blank; the room falling to a nervous silence. The instructor walked to the front of the room; turning to face the class. "I think you'll all agree that we've seen some outstanding flying from all our competitors today but none more so that the two pilots we've just watched. Before I let you know who won I'd like you to both congratulate Cadet Lee 'Apollo' Adama and Cadet Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace." A ripple of applause and cheers went round the room; escalating slightly when Lee opened the door and stepped out of his simulator. His eyes blinked as he walked back into the lit room and he seemed to be a little overwhelmed by the applause he was receiving.

The whole room looked to the other simulator; waiting for Kara to step out of hers as well. The clapping faded and the room fell to silence as they waited; the taste of tension present in the air. There was no movement at all and Karl began to get concerned about her. He wasn't the only one and Lee was the first to move; striding quickly towards her simulator and ripping the door open. He disappeared inside and everyone seemed to hold their breath wondering what the frak was going on.

"We need a medic in here… right frakking now!" was the only thing that was said from inside and Karl froze in place. Suddenly the room became a hive of activity.

TBC

**A/N: So what do you think? Any ideas what's going on? The next chapter will start to explain things a bit more, I promise... Anyway, please send me a review. All thoughts are gratefully received. See you tomorrow.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello there. As one reviewer has dubbed me - Cliffhanger here! :-) I'm really pleased with the responses I had from the last chapter and here is the next one - so I hope for as many this time too.**

**This chapter will hopefully help you understand what happened that night to make Lee leave Kara. I hope you all have some sympathy for him after reading it. Enjoy!!  
**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 8.**

She opened her eyes and closed them again quickly as the bright light of the room hit the back of her retinas. She took the time to process how she felt as she lay there. She knew where she was; the Academy Medical Center. There wasn't much she could remember about what had happened before she lost consciousness and she tried to collect her thoughts. She'd been flying the simulation and everything had been fine. The competition had finished and she'd removed her helmet and was just undoing the straps securing her in the seat when everything went black. The next thing she remembered was waking up not long after she'd been rushed to the center and then there were snippets of conversations and questions she could vaguely remember but it was a bit of blur. Now here she was in this bed; in a room that looked so sterile and she felt like the only blemish on the perfection of it.

She tried to open her eyes again and this time the light didn't have such an impact on her. She took a couple of deep breaths and gradually looked around the room. Her eyes settled on him as he sat in a chair at the edge of the room; watching her. He somehow added to the perfection of the room. "You're awake," he said softly.

"Why are you here, Lee?" Her voice broke as she said his name and she tried to convince herself it was because she hadn't spoken in a while. It was a lie but she didn't want to admit it; not even to herself. Her thoughts drifted away again back to when she first got here but as he spoke her concentration manifested itself back in the present.

"I was worried about you. We all were."

"You're worried about me now? It's a shame you weren't so worried all those weeks ago." She knew she sounded bitter but there wasn't anything she could do to stop herself behaving this way. It hurt too much to even try.

"I know." Shame flooded him and he was silent for a minute or so. "Karl was waiting with me earlier. I can go and get him if you want to speak to him." She shook her head. "Do you want to talk?" he asked hesitantly.

Another shake of the head; tears beginning to build in her eyes. "Go away, Lee. Leave me alone." She rolled onto her side; turning her back on him and hoping he didn't notice the wince as she moved.

"Don't you want to know who won; which one of us is Top Gun?"

She shook her head although it was another lie; she did really but she was sure she didn't want to hear it from him; knowing it was probably his name she was going to hear because there's no way it could be her. She couldn't hear the smugness in his voice. It would kill her. "I'm going to get some sleep." She whispered.

"I'll be here when you wake up." He said softly.

Tears fell down her face as she silently accepted his words; not sure if she really believed him; not after the last time he'd said them. She closed her eyes and willed herself to do as she'd just said. It wasn't easy.

****

Lee sat watching her lying on the bed; determined that this time he wouldn't let her down; whatever happened. He could kick himself for letting her down last time. It hadn't been his intention. He'd fully intended to be there when she woke up but then he received a panicky call from Zak and he'd been forced to return to his home. He'd momentarily given thought to leaving her a note but even then Lee had expected to be back just a few hours later when he could make up to Kara the fact he'd had to leave, in person rather than in writing.

Of course despite his best intentions he'd never been able to return to her. As soon as he arrived home he knew it was more serious than he'd thought; his father had apparently left not long after he had; giving the brunt of his temper to his wife before he went. When he got back home it was Zak who told him that he hadn't seen his mother since she'd disappeared into her room several hours ago and she wouldn't answer when he knocked on the door. Lee could still remember the scene as he forced his way into her bedroom and found her unconscious on the bed with an empty bottle of Ambrosia and bottle of pills beside her. Every time he thought about it he felt sick and now seeing Kara lying on the bed just made the memories of that sight come flooding back. She was so pale and he wished there was something he could do to help her. His thoughts shifted to when he'd found her in the simulator just a few hours earlier and the similarity to his mother wasn't lost on him. She'd been unconscious in her chair and when he'd brushed her face with his hand, her skin had been cold and clammy. It made him feel sick to his stomach just thinking about it.

He thought back to the break where he'd spent the remainder of it looking after Zak while all three of them waited at the medical center for her to get better. The tension between the two eldest Adama's continuing to grow as they both (internally) blamed themselves; and (externally) each other for what had happened. Lee was still blaming himself really as she was still there; even after all this time. His father; who also held some of the blame as far as Lee was concerned; had had to return to his ship so Zak was now staying with their grandparents. Lee wasn't sure what affect this was all having on Zak but he knew how he was feeling about it all. He felt lost and his one hope of finding himself had been destroyed when he'd returned to the Academy. Now he had something else to blame himself about because now Kara was also ill and he doubted he'd be able to lay any blame at his father's feet for this one; this was all him.

When he first got back to the Academy he knew it was stupid to think Kara would forgive him for not contacting her. Lee could hardly forgive himself for it but the break had passed in a blur and rightly, or wrongly, he hadn't had much time to think of anything other than what he was dealing with. He had handled it badly though and now he wished he could go back in time and change things. He'd gone to see Kara on the second day back and she'd blanked him completely; walking past him as if he hadn't been there. Something he still wished had happened differently; he wanted to be able to tell her what had happened and he knew it was a selfish thought but he wanted Kara to make him feel better about everything. Regardless of everything he felt about her; she was still his best friend and he needed her more now than he ever had. She made him feel complete; now it just felt like there was this huge chunk of him missing and he wasn't sure he could survive much longer without it.

Again he thought back to a little earlier and he remembered calling for the medics once he'd found her; actually screamed for them would probably be a better description of how it happened. They'd fortunately arrived quickly and he'd trailed after them as they took her to the medical center; all concerns of what anyone else was thinking far from his mind. They'd tried to get him to leave when they'd first arrived but Lee had refused to go. He wasn't going to leave her again; not now. She needed him and he needed her just as much. It hurt to think about leaving her and he hoped she wouldn't push him away again. He wouldn't survive it again.

The door to the room opened breaking Lee from his thoughts and he looked to see who was there. It was Karl who scowled as he saw Lee still sitting there. "You don't have to stay." He said childishly.

"I promised her I would."

"Again? It didn't seem to stop you last time." There wasn't anything Lee could say to that so he sat in silence; once more watching Kara as she slept. Karl sat in the chair beside him and Lee could feel him looking at him; studying him. He knew it wouldn't be long before he spoke again. "I think you need to explain why you did what you did?" He sounded more concerned than he had before; and again he wasn't saying anything Lee didn't already know.

"I do and I will when she's ready to hear me say it."

"I don't think she'll ever be ready." Lee flinched momentarily. "I'm a little disappointed in you, Lee. I expected you to treat her better than that. I thought she was your best friend. Didn't your parents raise you better than that?"

It hurt when Karl said that and he knew he'd probably pushed her past the point where that would ever be what she wanted; maybe Karl was her best friend now. That thought was even more painful. "She was. She is… if she'll have me." He bit his lip and looked at the floor by his feet. "It's more complicated than you think, Karl."

"How can it be? You turned up; slept with her; promised her things you really shouldn't have and then left her alone after telling her you wouldn't. You've no idea how upset she was when she didn't hear anything from you; she felt rejected Lee and I don't want her to have to go through that again."

"I don't want her to either. I care for her a lot… I know my actions may not have shown that but there was a good reason for me leaving. I promise." Lee took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds. Before he could change his mind he opened up to Karl about what had happened that night; about why he'd left.

As Lee slowly let the tale unfold Karl couldn't help but let the small amount of sympathy for him he'd already begrudgingly been feeling increase. As much as he hated to admit it he could see the emotions barely hidden on Lee's face and he understood just how much he'd been through. He also knew Kara would feel the same if she let him tell her. Why couldn't the two of them let each other in? It was maddeningly frustrating. "How's your mother now?" he asked hesitantly.

Lee winced at the question. "She's the same. They haven't released her yet; she still needs… help." Another wince at his last word; an admission he hated to make. Another failure piling on top of the rest he already owned.

"That must be difficult for all your family." Karl said softly.

"For some, maybe…"

Karl stared at him; wondering just what he was thinking. "What do you mean?"

"My father doesn't seem to be struggling too much. He's gone back to work and he's not around for Zak or me."

"Did he really have any choice? We both know what the Fleet expects from us, Lee. It's not a part-time thing. We knew that when we signed up and he probably wants to be with you all now more than ever. I'm sure if he could he would be there and he knows that Zak has you."

He wasn't saying anything Lee didn't know but he'd refused to believe his father wasn't more beholden to his job than he was to his family. "I guess." He settled for saying; knowing anything else would sound churlish.

"If you tell Kara I'm sure she'll understand. She still cares for you, Lee. She may not want to admit it but the feelings she has for you haven't disappeared and I'm not sure they ever will." He got to his feet. "I'm going to go back to the dorms. Let me know if she wants me to bring anything in for her; you as well, Lee. Just call me." Lee nodded at him distractedly. "Look after her, Lee."

"I will." He whispered. Karl's words had given him some hope; faint as it may be. He just wanted a chance to explain to her.

TBC

**A/N: So what did you think? Did you like it? Are you feeling sympathetic to Lee now? So the next (and last) chapter will deal with Kara - and Kara and Lee I guess. Do you think she'll forgive him? I'll be interested to hear your thoughts. See you tomorrow. xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**So here we are - the last chapter of this tale. I actually prefer this version of the story to the first time I wrote it (so maybe my memory stick failure was a blessing) and I think I end it a little better this time around. Anyway we're back to Kara's POV (mostly) and it's just a case now of Kara and Lee sorting things out; finding out what's wrong with Kara and just who was Top Gun - so not too much to ram into this chapter... Anyway on with the show. Enjoy!!!**

**It Shouldn't Be Easy.**

**Chapter 9.**

This time when she woke up Kara felt a little better. It wasn't followed by the anticipated disappointment because this time she knew she wasn't alone. She could feel him holding her hand; knowing it was him without having to look and she smiled internally as she realized he'd finally kept his promise to her. The conversation with the doctor came back to her and she shivered as she lay there; larger parts of what he'd said were now more memorable and she wished she could go back to a time when she couldn't remember them. She needed a distraction so she turned her head and saw Lee sitting at her bedside; asleep and looking very uncomfortable as he slept awkwardly in the chair. His fingers were wrapped around hers and she felt at peace for the first time in a long time. She squeezed his hand gently in hers and his eyes opened almost immediately; meeting hers with their usual intensity. "Hi," she whispered. "You stayed." The joy in her voice couldn't be mistaken as anything else by either of them.

He smiled as he heard the relief in her voice. "I did. I said I would… and I know I've said that before but there was no way I was going to leave this time." He squeezed her hand as he spoke and then paused and seemed to be deciding something. "I need to talk to you, Kara. I need to explain what happened… the last time. I know it's late and I should've told you why earlier but there never seemed to be a right time." He looked at her face expecting the same rejection he'd had before.

"I know, Lee… I heard you talking to Karl earlier." He stared at her as she spoke. "I'm so sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain when you first came back."

"You didn't do anything I didn't deserve."

"Yes I did. I should have let you talk to me."

He interrupted her. "And I should've left you a note; an explanation for why I went. I'm so sorry."

"I know."

"I never realized when I left that I wouldn't be back in a couple of hours. I thought I'd be able to make it up to you when I got back. I should have woken you before I went. I was planning on coming back." Kara squeezed his hand gently.

"Stop beating yourself up, Lee. You did what you thought was right at the time." She shifted on the bed a little; wincing again as pain spread through her body. "How are you?"

He laughed briefly. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Stop avoiding the question." Suddenly it was as if nothing had changed between them; all the pain and hurt of the last few weeks was gone – for her anyway. "Tell me, Lee."

"I feel let down I guess. I hate the fact she did it. What would've happened if I hadn't got there when I did? What if Zak hadn't called me?" Her thumb was brushing the back of his hand and it gave him some comfort and a slight distraction. "I shouldn't be laying this on you now."

"Don't be silly. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"I just feel a little selfish. Is there anything I can do for you?"

It was her turn to pause as she considered whether she could ask him. "Actually can you do me a favor?" She said softly.

He smiled at her; hoping he knew what she was going to ask. "Of course."

"Can you hold me?" she whispered. His hand tightened on hers and he got to his feet eagerly. She shuffled back on her bed; the pain a sharp spike through her as she moved so there was enough room for him to lie next to her. Fortunately he didn't seem to notice; or at least he didn't comment on it. Soon he was there and he had his arms wrapped around her body. She felt like she was home and she snuggled into him further; desperately ignoring the pain she was feeling; not all of it physical. He kissed the top of her head and brushed his hand down her back; feeling her body shake slightly in his arms.

"Do they know what happened? Why you blacked out?" Her throat dried and she closed her eyes in pain. She couldn't lie to him; she had to tell him. She nodded against his shoulder. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to… and I don't want to." She turned her head so she could meet his eyes. "I don't want you to hate me when I do; to think less of me."

"That couldn't happen, Kara."

"You haven't heard what I'm going to say yet. Don't make promises you may not be able to keep."

"I've finished doing that." His hand brushed the side of her cheek. "It won't happen." He repeated softly; bringing tears to her eyes. He sounded so certain and she wished she totally believed him.

She couldn't talk for several minutes and the room fell to silence as Lee let her take the time she needed. "I was pregnant." She finally whispered. "I didn't know, Lee. I had no idea." She added; in a rush to make sure he knew it was as much a surprise to her as it was to him.

"Pregnant?" His heart clenched as he realized what she was saying. He hadn't ever thought about being a father but the idea of it happening with Kara wasn't that appalling to him. Her words wound through his head again and this time he really heard them. "Was?" She shut her eyes as the pain of seeing him absorb what she'd told him became too much for her. He also felt the pain of his previous thoughts suddenly shattered and he tightened his hold on her again.

"I had a miscarriage." She could barely say the last word. His arms pulled her closer to him and again his lips brushed against her hair and stayed there; comforting her more than she thought it would. The tears came then and he held her in his arms; his hands brushing up and down her spine; the shaking of her body rattling the whole bed. After what seemed like forever the shaking stopped and he wondered if she was still awake. Her hand was moving on his chest though and he realized she hadn't fallen asleep.

"I thought… well I didn't think it could happen… I thought…" He couldn't say it because he knew it would sound like an accusation and that was the last thing she needed to hear. The last thing he wanted to say to her. Now wasn't the time to blame anyone; it wasn't anyone's fault. It was just a tragedy they were both sharing.

"Apparently it's not foolproof. I shouldn't have got pregnant but I did. I'm so sorry, Lee."

"You didn't do anything."

"I should've been looking after myself. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have lost it." Her fingers continued to brush his chest as she drew patterns on his shirt.

"Sometimes it's just not meant to happen." He regretted the words as soon he said them; feeling her flinch in his arms. "That came out wrong. I'm sorry. I want you to know that if you hadn't lost it, I would've been there for you, Kara. There for both of you. Maybe now just wasn't the right time. And I don't hate you. I wish I hadn't put you through the misery of the last few weeks; it's my fault you're here."

"It's not. Let's not start the blame game, Lee. Neither of us needs that. It won't change what's happened." And really she knew she was at fault more than anyone. She'd not taken care of herself since the break at all and that must be part of the reason for it happening; she knew it.

"I just wish things were different."

Her heart clenched when he said that and she knew they were edging into dangerous territory. She wasn't sure she felt strong enough to discuss that yet. "Is children something you've thought about?" Possibly not a better choice of conversation but it was the best she could do.

He was silent for a few minutes because it wasn't something he'd ever really thought about until she'd just asked. As he did he suddenly realized the extent of his feelings; he could've been a father. They could've had a child together. "I've not thought about it before but the idea doesn't sound so scary when I think about it now. Not if it was with you anyway." He looked down at her and saw him staring at her; tears refilling her eyes. "What about you?" he said; swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I never wanted children. I guess living with my mum and going through my childhood, the appeal was never there. I'm not sure if I know what being a good mother would even mean; or how to be one." Her words faded and she felt his eyes on her again; eyes she was unable to meet this time. Her voice was a whisper when she spoke again. "When the doctor told me about the miscarriage though it hit me; I didn't even know I could feel that way. I wished so strongly that I hadn't lost it; the thought of carrying your baby sounded pretty good." Her voice was barely audible but Lee heard every word and emotion it held.

He knew they both needed some time to regain control of their emotions so he changed the subject. "How long are they making you stay here? When will you be able to come back to class?"

"I think I'm going to be here for a couple of days. I'm not sure when I'll be back in class." She paused for a second. "Urghhh." She said suddenly.

"What?"

"I just realized that I'm going to have to face everyone when I get back. They're all going to ask me about what happened and speculate about it too."

"You don't have to tell them anything if you don't want to and you won't face it alone. You can do it with the second best pilot in the year… if you'll have me." He sounded so unsure of himself.

"Second best pilot?"

Lee smiled; not at all surprised she would focus of that part of what he'd said first. He'd expected nothing less. "You won; they posted the result just after you were taken to the Medical Center. Karl told me when we were first waiting to see you. He seemed quite proud of you; he's not the only one. I'm really proud of you. You deserved to win."

"I told you you'd be second best." There was a smirk on her face now and Lee knew it wouldn't have it any other way. He was also pleased he'd been able to distract her from her previous dark thoughts.

"You did." He paused and he knew he was going to have to ask her outright. "So about the other bit…?"

"Huh?"

"Me; facing them with you. Is that what you want?"

She stared at his face and saw the way he felt about her written across it so clearly. Still some doubt remained though and she had to check. "Do you?"

"More than anything." He whispered. His hand brushed her cheek before pulling her towards him so his mouth could meet hers in a gentle kiss. That was the initial plan anyway; of course that all changed as soon as his lips were on hers and it quickly built to something much more passionate than they should be doing in their current location. It was Kara that deepened it and Lee quickly responded. He loved her so much and he hoped she loved him as much.

She eventually pulled away from him slightly. "Does that answer your question?" She couldn't help but smile at the stunned expression on his face.

He kissed her again; holding her body against his so he could feel her; something he'd been missing since he'd left her. "I hope so." He finally said; his words hanging between them both as they lay side by side. "Because when I said you were mine and no one else's, I really meant it. Now and forever." His lips brushed against hers and Kara's heart was racing from what he'd just said so she took a couple of seconds to react to him. Soon they were both deeply involved in the kiss but Lee did pull away from her. "Get some rest, Kara. The sooner you do, the sooner we can get out of this place." He pulled her body against his and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled into him. "When you're released and you've recovered I've got some making up to do." He said softly. She shut her eyes; listening to his heart as it thudded evenly in his chest. "I'll be here when you wake up." He added; his hand brushing her back as she slowly fell asleep.

She smiled as he spoke because this time she believed him; this time she knew he'd still be there when she woke up. Just as she was about to fall asleep she realized her teacher from school had been right; nothing that's really worth it; should be easy. This definitely hadn't been easy.

THE END.

**A/N: So there you go - what do you think? Do you like the end? I think there may be a sequel for this one - and once I've ascertained what I want to cover in it, I may start writing it sooner than I would've originally planned. **

**Also, I'm now rewriting the other story I had on the go (which may take a while to do but I have started and I'm actually quite enjoying doing it again) but having now planned it quite far passed what I had written it's taken a whole different angle than how I was originally going to write it so the end is now nowhere in sight and until I've got a majority of it written I won't post it (and by this I mean it written and it just need editing). Anyway, if inspiration strikes for a different story I'll post something else so keep on looking. Any ideas you want to shoot my way will be gratefully received - I seem to be on a bit of a roll at the moment.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story (and any who choose to after reading this last chapter) - your reviews mean a great deal to me and help me with polishing the remaining chapters.**


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